Invert the Y-axis

Go, go, go!

2010-07-30T20:52:00.003+01:00

Ordinarily I'd get stressed out if you told me to go, go, go! But when I'm sat in a rocket-propelled boat, it's a whole other story. I've been swooshing around on Hydro Thunder Hurricane at every opportunity for the last coupe of days... exploring weird and wonderful tracks, oohing and ahhing over brightly-coloured boats etc.

And I've been happily collecting achievemets. Well, I was until I realised what one of them involved:

Humans Gooood - Play a 4 way local Multiplayer race in which all the humans beat all the AI.

Seriously? Who's going to be able to get this? Not only do I have to get three people to come over to my house, they have to bring a controller with them AND be good at racing games. Possibly THE most annoying achievment I've ever come across. It almost makes me want to switch my Hydro Thunder Avatar t-shirt to something else. But then I remember the level with the giant Viking, and the epic jumps over canal boats... Hydro Thunder Avatar t-shirt stays.

1GOAL - 1 very cool avatar t-shirt

2010-07-10T22:02:00.000+01:00

The World Cup may be almost over, and England may have done even worse than usual, but one thing I've enjoyed over the last few weeks, is wearing my 1GOAL t-shirt.

I often struggle to know what to dress my avatar in (I'd been wearing the pink Depeche Mode, Gnome Chomski t-shirt for approximately 6 months), so when I found out there was a t-shirt I could download that could also help children worldwide get access to education, I was over the moon.

Every download of the t-shirt counts as a signature on 1GOAL's petition, urging world leaders to provide education for 72 million children who are denied the chance to go to school. This weekend is your last chance to download the t-shirt, oh, and did I mention it's FREE -

Male 1GOAL t-shirt here: http://bit.ly/bZRoAL
Female 1GOAL t-shirt here: http://bit.ly/ddat90

Talking to Strangers

2010-06-22T22:36:00.002+01:00

I'm enjoying Red Dead Redemption, but I find the cut-scenes way too long. I've been skipping them so much that I no longer have any grasp of the story. I'm a bloke on a horse with lots of things to do. That's it. I still have a lot of fun, but it's not the same as being gripped by the story AND enjoying the gameplay.

I started to think about games where I haven't skipped the cut-scenes at all, and realised that they were few and far between. And so begins another set of themed posts - my top three games with show-stopping cut-scenes. In no particular order...

#1

Oddworld Stranger's Wrath was THE game that got me back into gaming. The story totally drew me in and I was so invested in the character of Stranger, that it just wasn't possible to skip even a second of a cut-scene. I laughed. I cried. And when I wasn't talking to townsfolk, who just happened to be chickens, I was hoping there was another cut-scene around the next corner.

Horseplay #2

2010-06-08T21:32:00.006+01:00

A little while ago I had a traumatic experience while playing Red Dead Redemption. Actually, I haven't played since. It involved an attempted good deed, a stolen horse and a very steep drop. Perhaps I should start from the beginning...

I'd been playing poker for some time and needed something to take my mind off the fact that I'd lost all of my money. Something to do... Something to do... As luck would have it there was a guy outside the saloon who'd just had his horse stolen that very second. I was happy to help and galloped after the horse thief.

By the time I'd caught up with the thief and dispatched of him, I was miles from town and had a long ride ahead of me to return the horse to its rightful owner. A shortcut was clearly in order and I decided to return to town as the crow flies and ignore the designated path. Big mistake.

Next thing I know, the horse and I are flying off the edge of a cliff. You may not be able to lead a horse to water and make it drink, but if you lead a horse to a cliff edge, it will totally just carry on galloping.

I survived the fall relatively unscathed, but the rescued horse lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. I felt terrible and walked over to the horse in the vain hope that maybe he was okay. And that's when the terrible thing happened... I accidentally skinned my horse. In my shocked state I pressed the Y-button to get back on, but ended up SKINNING it. The horror.

I am possibly the worst good samaritan in the world.

It's taken me a little while to come to terms with what happened that day. But I think I'm ready to go back now. Those of you who read my earlier blog post may remember that this isn't the first time I've had a bad horse experience. Hopefully, I'll still be allowed to have a horse in light of my previous history. If not, look out for me - I'll be the cowgirl power walking everywhere.

Trying to infiltrate the mansion? Me? Never!

2010-05-31T18:50:00.004+01:00

Sam Fisher is the epitomy of stealth. At least he was until the latest instalment of Splinter Cell - anybody else have to stifle a giggle when given mission instructions for the first time? It's hard to be stealthy when someone projects your intentions onto the side of a building...

Seriously, what next? Third Echelon-issue shoes with extra squeakiness? An ear piece that plays 'la cucaracha' whenever somebody wants to talk to you? Sam Fisher, I will always love you, but if they call the next game, Splinter Cell: I'm over here!, then I might pass.

Horseplay

2010-05-24T20:34:00.002+01:00

Once you've been gaming for a couple of years, you can start to feel like you know what's coming next when you pick up a new game. If you stumble across a massive stash of weapons and ammo, you can guarantee you're just about to enter a room full of enemies. If you meet a supposedly immortal nasty boss creature, he's almost certainly got a very small, but curiously exposed weak spot. I thought I had games all figured out. Until yesterday...

I'd been playing Red Dead Redemption long enough to work out the general status quo. If someone's wandering around looking distraught/troubled/scared/bloody/alone, then they are in need of assistance. Once helped they will give you some kind of reward, either monetary or treasure map-related. This was my thinking when I got off my horse to help a young woman in the middle of nowhere.

Then something jaw-droppingly left-field happened. She jumped on my horse, called me 'green' and galloped off into the distance. I was so shocked I had to pause the game and make a cup of tea. Shocked AND delighted all at the same time. Both annoyed, and entertained by the fact that the game had managed to totally surprise me.

But, now to the important part of this post. If you see this woman, do not trust her. Do not be distracted by the fact that she's wearing bloomers, or concerned by the fact that she's wandering around in the middle of nowhere in the searing heat (with no sun hat) - SHE IS TROUBLE.

Sightseeing in Paris

2010-04-09T15:15:00.003+01:00

I was considering going to Paris for Easter, but for various reasons (mostly because the Eurostar is so ridiculously expensive unless you book a year in advance), I ended up staying home with the Xbox. As luck would have it, the next game on my 'Must play soon' list, The Saboteur, is set in Paris. Here are some snapshots from my weekend of virtual sightseeing.

Me next to the Eiffel Tower. It rained quite heavily on my first day in Paris - I was lucky to find another tourist on the roof of this building who was happy to take my picture.

Me base jumping from the Eiffel Tower. I forgot to take my bag off! Fortunately my mobile phone made it through in one piece.

Me driving to Le Havre to find somewhere nice for a pub lunch.

In love with a loading screen

2010-04-03T17:35:00.001+01:00

It's official - I'm about two-thirds into Bioshock 2 and I'm not blown away. While it's all very nice to return to Rapture, I don't feel like I'm doing anything new. Probably because in gameplay terms, I'm not (aside from killing annoying little sisters).

Still, there's a good chance I'll still end up finishing the game... largely because I'm in love with the loading screens.

There are the reasons why:

1. 1940's music is great.

2. You're allowed to choose when you continue playing.

Of course, the problem is that I might just leave the loading screen on for a very long time.

Mad with Moxxi

2010-03-31T22:34:00.002+01:00

Borderlands was one of my favourite games of last year, so much so that I had almost completed the game 100%. Until they started releasing DLC that is. While I'm happy to pay for extra content, what annoys me is that the new achievements show up in your achievement list even if you don't download the extra content. It makes it really hard to resist spending your microsoft points.

This wasn't such a terrible thing when it came to Zombie Island. I was happy to wander around collecting zombie brains and then more braaaaaaains, while continuing to work towards 100% achievment completion. But Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot was a different story. As I was being mauled for the millioneth time, I realised with horror that I would never be able to tick all the achievement boxes. Leaving me extremely annoyed that I'd been cajoled into buying DLC that then made it ridiculously hard to get the achivements (the main reason I bought it).

This leaves me with a dilemma - should I download the latest 'Secret Armory' content? Am I annoyed enough at Mad Moxxi to make me boycott the next DLC? Possibly. Possibly not. If Mad Moxxi agrees to put down the loud hailer and stop telling me I'm rubbish, we might just make up and put this whole terrible affair behind us.

Played the game, got the t-shirt.

2010-03-28T21:30:00.012+01:00

Was checking out upcoming new releases on the Game website the other day... I've been following the development journey of the Alan Wake game pretty much since I was old enough to grasp a controller, so I was pleased to see that there's going to be a collector's edition. Also, if you preorder (either editon), you get a downloadable t-shirt for your avatar. The weird thing is that I'm more excited about getting a t-shirt for my avatar than I would be if I was getting a t-shirt for me (see earlier post for my rant about ludicrously large gaming-related t-shirts).

The limited collector's edition is designed to look like a book and is 'hardbound in quality linen.' Unfortunately in skim reading I skipped the first two words and was getting way too excited about the possibility of an Alan Wake duvet. Here's what's actually included:

Game Disc in box with unique art
Exclusive In-Game Audio Commentary and hints by Remedy.
“The Alan Wake Files” a 144 page book that includes a short story written by Alan Wake and compiles the FBI dossiers investigating the events in Bright Falls.
Exclusive Xbox 360 bonus disc with special content:
- Exclusive Xbox Theme and Avatar
- A token for the first downloadable content available for Alan Wake through Xbox LIVE
- Video Documentaries/Behind The Scenes
- The Theme of Alan Wake
- The World of Bright Falls
- The People of Bight Falls
- Alan’s Missions
Exclusive Audio Disc with Soundtrack and Score

Answers on a postcard...

2010-03-24T21:00:00.002Z

The other day I was reading 360 magazine and came across a competition to win a copy of Metro 2033. Being a bit of competition fanatic, I was all set to email in my entry... but to my surprise, you have to POST your entry. You have to actually send in your answer on a postcard. Crazily retro.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to enter. I'll just expect my prize to be delivered by a carrier pigeon, or perhaps a postman riding a penny farthing...

Top Five Game Sounds #1

2010-03-13T18:57:00.004Z

So what's number one? Well, for me, it's a sound that gives me goosebumps, while at the same time giving me the confidence to sneak up on big, burly guys, silently take them down and dump them in a rubbish bin where the body will never be found...

Game: Splinter Cell

Sound created by: Night vision goggles
Sound: Whirrr...

I'm a big fan of the Splinter Cell series (particularly the night vision goggles), so was particularly upset to read the following blurb on the soon-to-be-released Splinter Cell: Conviction -

'Sam Fisher can no longer rely on his trusted bag of tools and iconic goggles. He's gone beyond being a double agent. Now he's a fully fledged fugitive without the intel of 3rd Echelon or the support of his friends. Those custom gadgets can't be found at your local hardware store.'

Excuse me? Does this mean there won't be night vision goggles? I don't think I could bear it. And anyway, while 'those custom gadgets' might be tricky to find at your local hardware store, somebody should tell Sam Fisher that you can get a fully functional pair of goggles as part of the prestige edition of Call of Duty: MW2.

Top Five Game Sounds #2

2010-03-10T18:30:00.003Z

Time for an old-skool entry in the top five. Because frankly - who doesn't love Sonic? Well, possibly not Dr Robotnik and people that work at Nintendo. Anyway, second place in this countdown of top game sound effects, goes to...

Game: Sonic the Hedgehog
Sound created by: Collecting gold rings
Sound: Kerching!

I spent around 80% of my childhood collecting those sparkly gold rings. The other 20% was spent forming an intense hatred of rock, paper, scissors, courtesy of Alex Kidd. I particularly enjoyed collecting rings in a loop the loop (see above) or in the snakey high-speed tunnels.

Losing rings was hearbreaking, especially when followed by death. Very similar to the feeling of losing studs in any of the Lego games. GET THE BLUE ONE! Sorry, where was I? The sound of gold rings being collected by a blue hedgehog, that's right. A truly iconic gaming sound... but not the number one. Think you can guess what it is? Add a comment below...

Achievement unlocked

2010-03-06T18:45:00.001Z

Recently in my web travels I've come across some pretty funny, alternative xbox achievements that people have created. Like this...

Genius! I've gathered together some of my personal favourites below. I'm particularly jealous of the person who created the last one :(

Top Five Game Sounds #3

2010-03-03T19:11:00.001Z

Okay, so this one isn't from a specific game, but I couldn't let the top five go by without giving a special mention to a sound that's made me happy on so many occasions...

Game: Everything
Sound created by: The glorious xbox
Sound: Blip!

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a total achievement hunter. Recently, while playing 1 vs 100, I intentionally got three consecutive answers wrong just to get an achievement. Admittedly, it's likely I would have achieved this feat without trying particularly hard, but I was keen to hear the ping! as soon as possible. I'm a total sell-out when it comes to the ping.

I can have a really unproductive day, but as soon as I hear that sound I can't help but feel like I really... achieved something.

Top Five Game Sounds #4

2010-02-28T18:53:00.003Z

In at number 4, is a sound that comes from a series of games with a bit of a sports theme. Whenever I play one of these games (although not the latest one), for the next few days I find myself walking down the street wanting to press Y+direction whenever I see a low wall/park bench/picket fence...

Game: Tony Hawk series
Sound created by: Skateboard on hard surface
Sound: Griiiiiind

Final 3 coming soon...

Little Sister visits Sydney Aquarium

2010-02-26T19:05:00.002Z

Or, more accurately, 2K Games hire a model to dress up in a Little Sister costume and do a promotional photoshoot for the release of Bioshock 2...

I now know what I'm wearing to my next fancy dress party... I do like the photos, but somehow they don't really seem to capture the surreal creepiness of Rapture. Maybe it's because I can practically see the Sydney Aquarium gift shop reflected in the tank.

There are more pics on the 2K site here - http://www.2kgamesinternational.com/au/news/2010/02/18/little-sister-photoshoot

Top Five Game Sounds #5

2010-02-25T21:30:00.004Z

Game soundtracks get a fair bit of attention. Not as much attention as female samurais in bikinis, granted, but they get their fair share of the limelight. The humble sound effect, on the other hand, rarely gets a mention. Which is why I've decided to dedicate some of my blogging space to my top five game sounds - sounds that have stuck in my head for days, sounds that freak me out and iconic sounds that remind me how great gaming is. Here's number 5...

Game: Gears of War
Sound created by: The Ticker
Sound: More of a click, click, click, than a tick, tick, tick.

Whenever I hear that click, click, click, my anxiety levels go through the roof. In fact, just the thought of the sound of the click, click, click, makes me freak out substantially. Which is weird, because I actually find tickers quite cute. Right before they run at me with a ticking bomb.

So, what would you have in your top five game sounds? Feel free to comment... I'll be posting the rest of the countdown over the next few days...

Who shot Marvin Gaye?

2010-02-23T14:01:00.006Z

That was the crucial question when I was playing 1 vs 100 back in January. I was in the Mob, and with a sneaky feeling that I knew the answer, my avatar was poised (see below) to break into a victory dance.

As luck would have it, the One got the answer wrong, and so did a large proportion of the Mob. A small handful of people, myself included, got it right (Marvin Gaye's dad shot Marvin Gaye) and won a copy of Lode Runner - details to be emailed etc etc. I was very excited. My avatar did every dance known to avatars. It was a good day.

But that was six weeks ago. Now there's a new question - where's my prize?! I assumed I'd have to wait a little while, but close to two months? Wow. I'm a huge fan of 1 vs 100, partly because I love any kind of quiz, but also because it's so fast-paced and immediate. Having to wait forever for a prize seems to defeat the object a bit.

For the love of pie!

2010-02-21T21:30:00.002Z

Like pie? Like 1920’s silent movies? Liked Braid, but found it a bit pretentious? Then chances are you’ll love The Misadventures of P.B Winterbottom. It’s a puzzle/platforming affair available for download on Xbox Live, and it's the most charming game I’ve played in a long time.

With so many big game sequels out there saturating the market, it’s really refreshing to play a game that’s trying to be a bit different. While it’s quite similar to Braid in gameplay terms (you get to mess with time and create clones of yourself to progress through levels), it has a completely unique feel that draws you into a surreal Victorian pie-chasing world.

The Misadventures also gets a thumbs up for having achievable achievements. It’s nice to finish a level and get an achievement, instead of having to finish the level fifty times over while standing on your head and eating a pie with a teaspoon.

What do you buy the gamer who has everything?

2010-02-18T15:51:00.001Z

I stumbled across something amazing in GameStation the other day. And it wasn’t a game. Or another girl gamer. It was this…

A cartoonified figurine of 'Gears of War' Marcus. Amazing because most of the time the only game-related merchandise I’ve been able to find on the high street is a Sonic the Hedgehog soft toy or a Space Invaders t-shirt (size XXXL).

I have no idea why it’s so hard to find cool gaming memorabilia in shops. The rest of the retail world seems to have cottoned onto the fact that people will buy all kinds of tat related to their hobby/interest. I would buy a LOT of gaming-related bits and bobs if they were staring me in the face when I got to the checkout. Marcus (above) was staring at me very angrily, but I still bought him. Predictably, Marcus was the last of his kind at my local GameStation, and they didn't know if they were getting more in.

If game shops stocked more than just games, it would also make it so much easier to buy gifts for gamers. Especially for this poor woman I overheard in Game the other day as she desperately tried to buy a game for her son:

Shop Assistant: Are you looking for PS3 or 360 games?

Shopper: Erm... the ones with the green boxes. Yes, the ones for the xbox three hundred and sixty.

So, what do you buy the gamer who has everything? The answer should be - a representation of their favourite game character. If only game stores would start stocking them...